Into the Black

It was announced on Raw last night that Shawn Michaels was finally going to get his wish: Another shot at ending The Undertaker’s Wrestlemania winning streak. I think they went about it the right way, by having HBK cost Taker the title in the Elimination Chamber match; the only other option would have been to somehow get Michaels into that match, win the title, and tell Taker that if he wanted a rematch it would have to be at Mania. But since there’s no title on the line, Michaels had to put something equally as important as the Undertaker’s streak at stake: his career.

Now, this makes for some good drama leading up to Wrestlemania, but there’s just one problem: I don’t particularly want to see either of those things come to an end. Last year’s match was incredible, and I expect nothing less this year. Hell, if anything they’re going to have to step it up big time to top last year’s match, especially considering what all’s at stake.

The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania may seem superficial at first, but it’s really not. There are so few things in the wrestling business that last. Yes, streaks are meant to be broken, but I believe that depends on the streak. Some winning streaks were done right: Tatanka had a nice streak when he entered the WWE, and Flair had a great one at the end of his career, where all it took was one loss and he was forced to retire. It’s also generally a good idea to give a monster a bit of a streak upon his debut, so it’ll mean something when he’s finally toppled.

If you want to see how not to do a streak, look no further than what WCW did with Goldberg. In that case, all that mattered was the number itself, and how high it could get. Goldberg faced no name wrestlers practically every week, and I’m sorry, but there’s nothing impressive about 173 wins in a row when most of them are against such A-list stars as Mike Enos & Sick Boy. Sure, it was cool for the first few weeks to see this big new guy come down to the ring and destroy someone in under a minute, but after a year you’ve gotta change that shit up! There was no drama in it, because you already knew exactly what was going to happen every time his music played.

I like the Undertaker’s streak because it doesn’t make him invincible: It just means that there’s one day a year when the fates are on his side. It doesn’t mean that if he gets his hands on a title you’re not going to get it away from him. It doesn’t mean you’re yawning when the match starts because you already know who’s going to win. It just means that at Wrestlemania, that ring belongs to the Dead Man. And even though he’s 17-0, there’s still plenty of drama involved. Last year, there was a definite sense in the air that the streak might be coming to an end. And with the stakes as high as they are this year, the streak’s definitely treading on thin ice.

I guess ever since the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania streak became a big deal, I’ve wanted to see him retire with it intact. It’s such an impressive thing that’s completely unheard of, and it’d be a shame to see it fall. On the other hand, if someone’s going to do it, who better than Shawn Michaels? I mean, HBK’s done pretty much everything else in the business. This would be one of the last notches he needs to fill out his career. That said, if he’s going to be forced to retire, there’s no better place than on the grandest stage of them all, trying to do the impossible.

And nobody, nobody, does impossible better than the Heartbreak Kid.

WWE’s promo for the match is one of the best in recent memory. The song is Placebo’s cover of Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill,” and it’s absolutely perfect for this (and has been stuck in my head and playing on repeat in my iTunes since I saw this.)

I never used to like Tracy Morgan.

Let me be more specific: When a Tracy Morgan sketch came on Saturday Night Live, that was my cue to go get a drink. I don’t know what it was, but in his entire time on SNL, I think the only things he did that made me laugh were his backstage bits with Lorne Michaels where he’d boss him around.

And then, along came 30 Rock. And a funny thing happened.

I finally got Tracy Morgan.

It was like it suddenly all made sense! Tracy Jordan is Tracy Morgan! Tina Fey just captured who he is, with the off the wall comments made with a mixture of innocence & obliviousness (okay, so it’s slightly embellished), and wrote him in as a character on 30 Rock. That was the biggest thing that surprised me when I started getting into the show; when he was announced as part of the cast, I wasn’t too sure about it because I’d never liked him on SNL. But now, I want the episodes to have more Tracy Morgan in them!

Now looking back, I can kinda see why that is. The SNL bits I did like him in were the backstage bits where he was just being himself. I think I didn’t like the sketches he was in because I didn’t get him at the time, because when he came back and hosted, I was finding myself laughing my ass off at Brian Fellow for the first time. Prior to 30 Rock, Saturday Night Live was my only exposure to Morgan; I’d never actually seen any of his stand up or anything. I’m wondering how my opinion of him on the show would have differed had I actually understood him at the time.

Not long ago I saw a preview for Cop Out, Morgan’s new buddy comedy with Bruce Willis directed by Kevin Smith, and it was cracking me up. I really can’t wait for that to come out now, because I really want to see it. And the new issue of Rolling Stone came in the mail the other day, and there was a really good article in it about Morgan. It gave a lot of insight into his life, the hardships he’s faced (I didn’t realize he has really bad diabetes) and how he’s turned things around in the last few years. It’s a really good read, and I definitely recommend it for any fans out there.

Apparently the WWE is going to retire the Survivor Series pay-per-view because the buyrate was down this year, and instead focus more on the gimmick pay-per-views (ie. the recent TLC & Hell in a Cell, and the upcoming Elimination Chamber.) Frankly, I think that sucks, because I’ve always been a fan of Survivor Series; it’s always been my favorite PPV after Royal Rumble & Wrestlemania. Part of the problem there is that they seem to have gotten away from the importance of the actual Survivor Series matches at the event in the last few years. I don’t think the problem lies in the event itself; it lies in the way they’ve been doing the promotion & build-up to it lately.

Anyways, WWE sent out an email to their fans yesterday asking for feedback about possible new WWE gimmick themed pay-per-views. I’m intrigued by some, excited by others, and apathetic about the rest.

Tournament Event: Single elimination “bracket style” tournament where Superstars would compete in multiple matches during the night to become the tournament winner.

• Yeah, see, I liked this when it was called “King of the Ring.” I hate the changes they’ve made where they do all but the final match at the PPV, or just do the whole thing on Raw. But if they put it all back on the PPV again, at least that would make it something worth watching.

Street Fight Event: Main events would include”street fight” matches where there are no disqualifications and pin-falls count anywhere. Superstars often compete in normal street clothes.

• Nah. Street fights are the kind of matches best used to settle a very personal score, which means having more than one on a single card is overload. Pass.

Legends Event: Match participants would include WWE Legends from the past.

• Unsure about this one. I like the idea of bringing back Legends for some matches, but it could turn out to be a train wreck. This is one that would all depend on the execution & build up.

Money in the Bank Event: The main event “Money in the Bank” match requires Superstars to climb a ladder and retrieve a briefcase hung high above the ring. The winner can “cash in” the briefcase for a championship title shot throughout the year. Qualifying matches earlier in the event will determine participants for the “Money in the Bank” match.

• I think it’s better to keep Money in the Bank limited to the one match per year at Wrestlemania. I think it fits better in that atmosphere, where it gives someone who isn’t in the main event (or even necessarily a main event star) a chance to shine.

WWE Draft Event: WWE’s annual Draft where Superstars and Divas learn which brand they’ll be a part of for the next year. The Draft is often the beginning of new conflicts and matchups.

• Nope, wouldn’t pay for it. I’ll watch it on Raw or Smackdown, sure, but that’s not something I’d pay to see.

Battle Bowl Event: Random tag-teams compete together – sometimes arch rivals – with the winning teams being put in a 2-ring Battle Royal. The winner could potentially receive a championship title match.

• Yes! I loved Battle Bowl. It was such an interesting concept, and made for some interesting possibilities. I don’t know that the battle royal at the end necessarily needs the 2-rings, but that depends on how many matches they put on the card. I’d say either give the winner a shot that night, or make this the new PPV lead in to Summerslam and let it be the Rumble equivalent for that.

Roulette Event: Main event match stipulations would be determined by the spin of a roulette-type wheel.

• This could be interesting. I liked when WCW had their “Spin the Wheel, Make a Deal” matches (I specifically remember the buildup for the Vader v. Cactus Jack match at Halloween Havoc in 1993.) This is another one that’d depend on how they set it up.

War Games Event: Teams of 5 collide in 2 cages. 2 participants begin the match with a new participant added every 5 minutes. This process is alternated between teams until all members from both teams are present.)

• Oh hell yes! War Games was by far my favorite WCW pay-per-view, and just the thought of WWE bringing it back gets me excited. I remember some really awesome War Games matches from the past, and more than any of the others, this is one PPV I’d definitely pay to see.

I was going through our old VHS tapes last night, and came across The Rocketeer. Now, I haven’t watched that movie since it first came out on video, so all I could remember was “Iron Man in World War II.” But after rewatching it, I gotta say, this movie holds up.

Since I was a kid when I first saw it, I had no idea who any of the actors in it were. But watching it now, it’s really cool to see some faces I know: A young (and ungodly beautiful) Jennifer Connelly, Timothy Dalton as an awesome villain, Alan Arkin in a great mentor role, and Mr. John Locke himself, Terry O’Quinn, as Howard Hughes.

I love period sci-fi, so a guy with a rocket pack in 1938 is just pretty awesome to me. It gives the whole thing a very steampunky feel (and I loved all the little nods to the people & events of the era.) Strangely enough, of all the effects in the movie, the only one that doesn’t stand the test of time is the obvious rubber mask on the big thug that makes him look like Gary Busci with elephantitis of the face. That’s right, in 1991 they could make a guy appear to fly, but not make a large man have a really ugly face.

I really enjoyed the movie. It’s a lot of fun, and has a solid story and some great humor in it (and I always appreciate good humor in this sort of film.) But the biggest thing I came away with from rewatching The Rocketeer? A desire for a leather jacket like the one he wears. Seriously, that’s one retro style I really want to bring back.

The ads for the 2010 Super Bowl were pretty lackluster. There were a lot of ones that tried to be funny but really missed the mark. Oh, and I’m sick to death of the E*Trade baby. Seriously, stop making those ads. They’re just obnoxious at this point, and bordering on creepy. Also, Go Daddy, you’re really not that risque. When you’re going up against Megan Fox in a bubble bath, you’re not going to win by showing a girl in a tank top and proclaiming yourself too hot for TV.

That said, here are my top 10 ads from this year’s Super Bowl:

• Snickers: Betty White & Abe Vigoda (Come on, you can’t go wrong with those two!)
• Doritos: Tim really loves his Doritos
• Doritos: Keep yo hands off my Mama
• Intel: Robot (I want to give him a hug)
• Bud Light: House
• Late Show: Letterman, Oprah, & Leno
• Budweiser: Friends (I always like the Clydesdale ads)
• Tru TV: Groundhog Day (I like the idea of a Puxatony Polamalu)
• KGB: Sumo
• Vizio: Everything (bonus points for the YouTube video references)

I was saddened recently to learn of the passing of Blake Snyder, author of the Save the Cat series of screenwriting books. I had read other books on screenwriting before, most notably Syd Field’s Screenplay, which is the basis for modern screenwriting, and Viki King’s How to Write a Movie in 21 Days, which took Field’s ideas and expanded on them, but it wasn’t until I read Save the Cat that things really made sense. It’s a bit cliche, but it really felt like someone flipped a light switch in my brain and suddenly I could see the skeleton structure that underlies a good movie. Since then, Save the Cat, has become my screenwriting Bible, the book I always go back to and whose rules I try to adhere to. That’s not to say I take it as “the unbreakable gospel,” because there are certainly some things I disagree with (Memento is a good movie, damnit!), but as a whole it has become thoroughly ingrained into me with the way I write and look at movies.

More than just structure, it has completely changed the way I look at movie genres. No longer am I confined to such terms as comedy, action, or sci-fi! Sure they may tell you something about the tone of the movie, but they say nothing of the actual story being told. Now when I watch a movie or begin to write one, I instead ask myself whether the movie is an Out of the Bottle or a Buddy Love, a Golden Fleece or a Rite of Passage. Blake broke each genre down into 10 categories (all with 5 subgenres), each of which is about the journey the hero must take, which makes a lot of sense when you get right down to it.

For instance, one of the scripts I’m working on right now is a comedy, but that doesn’t really tell me what movies I need to look at to study the structure and beats of how it should flow. I mean, there’s a big difference between When Harry Met Sally and Dodgeball; sure, both may be comedies, but they’re completely different types of comedy that tell two completely different stories. However, based on the STC genre it fits into (Issue subgenre of Institutionalized), I’ve found that I can learn far more about how to set up this particular script by looking at other films in that genre, most of which (Magnolia, Crash, Sin City) are certainly not comedies.

Right now I’ve got the section of wall over my desk taped off to represent The Board with a couple dozen notecards tacked up there, each containing information on various scenes for my current screenplay. It may look like a cluttered mess, but it’s a great way for me to see where my problem spots are, what may not be needed, or what would be best moved around. Besides, it’s really nice having something tactile to play around with.

I feel I owe a lot to Mr. Snyder and the works he put out before he passed. I wish I had been able to take one of his workshops to get feedback on my writing, because I’m sure that would have been immensely helpful. But instead, I’ll just give him a thank you for everything, and recommend the Save the Cat books to any writers out there, regardless of the medium.

Last night I was watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop. It was a cute little movie, and had some good moments (I loved the criminals who all did parkour, and their leader was just really fun to watch) but there was one glaring problem in my book. No, it wasn’t one of the several plot holes in the movie, such as how the daughter managed to just stroll into a mall that was supposedly surrounded by cops without realizing something was wrong; I can deal with that kind of thing, especially in this type of comedy flick. No, my problem with the movie didn’t come until the very end, and it’s very simple:

Not every movie needs to have a twist ending!

Now, I know this movie is a Die Hard spoof, and it may have been a play off of the end of Die Hard 2, but frankly I don’t consider that an excuse. There really was no reason to have the leader of the SWAT team turn bad for all of one minute before being taken down at the end of the movie. It felt like one of those “Oooh! Oooh! Here’s something else we can do!” things that the writer decided to throw in there at the last minute to push it over the 90 minute mark. Why? For an extra little punch? To cement him as a douchebag? To give the old mall cop who we don’t care about a moment of heroism?

Honestly, my beef with it isn’t that it doesn’t make sense, or that there was zero build-up or hint at the fact that there was anyone else involved. My problem is that it actually hurt the movie! A big theme throughout the film was Paul Blart not getting respect from anyone, especially law enforcement officials. So when he was in the van with the SWAT leader and was actually paid a compliment, that should have been a big deal for our hero! It would have made for a much stronger final beat of the movie for Blart to have actually earned the respect of the big badass guy who had doubted his ability the whole time. Instead, this is sacrificed for a twist that frankly just doesn’t work.

Watching WWE Pay-Per-Views used to be a regular thing for me, but it’s been about five years since I last ordered one; none of my friends in Valdosta were big wrestling fans, so that’s one of the things I missed out on while I was there. So to bring back old times, I went over to James’ last night with Nate & Sean to watch this year’s Royal Rumble (while texting back-and-forth with my brother in California & my friend Krissy who was actually at the event.) The Rumble has always been my favorite PPV, and this one turned out to be one of the best that I can remember.

Let me just preface all this with something: Matt Striker is now officially my favorite color commentator in wrestling. The stuff he came up with throughout the entire broadcast was comedy gold.

Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson
I’m a big Christian fan, but thought they were going to have him get beat by Jackson here. Great match; Christian took a hell of a lot of punishment and kept coming back from it (the clothesline to the back of Christian’s head was pretty brutal.) Real nice back-and-forth, and I loved seeing Christian slap the hell out of Jackson and then run like mad. But after a number of missed Killswitches, Christian finally nailed one with a great reversal for the win.

The Miz vs. MVP
Nice to see a bonus match added to the card; thought it felt a little light on matches. Not much to say about this match, other than I’m glad The Miz beat MVP. I’m not really a fan of MVP, and The Miz is at least entertaining.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Loved the backstage intrigue with Legacy leading up to this match. It was very slow starting, but once it picked up it was pretty good. I fully expected Orton to win the title in this match, so he’d be going into Wrestlemania as the champ. But with everything that led up to it with Legacy during the show, I wasn’t surprised with the outcome. What I was surprised by was how much the audience was behind Orton both during and after the match. Face turn coming?

Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool
This match was exactly what it needed to be: Mickie destroying Michelle hard and fast. With all the torment she’s put Mickie through over the last several weeks, she got exactly what was coming to her. I still don’t understand why they ever went with a storyline where they continually called Mickie James fat; she’s by far the hottest diva in the WWE right now.

Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio
Holy crap. I love matches where Mysterio takes on a much larger opponent, and this was no exception. Mysterio busted Taker’s nose open early in the match while flailing to get out of a Tombstone, and just made him look even more feral. Mysterio’s 12-2-18 was pretty awesome, but of course the match could only end way one: a giant wedgie bomb to hell.

Royal Rumble Match
The main event! This had the best beginning of any Rumble match I can remember. CM Punk’s domination of the early part of the match, coupled with his preaching to the crowd when he was alone in the ring, was pure awesome. Beth Phoenix’s surprise entry was really cool to see, and I loved that she eliminated The Great Khali. I would have liked to have seen a stronger showing from some of my favorites (John Morrison, Chris Jericho, Matt Hardy), but I suppose everyone can’t have multiple eliminations. Going into the match, I was worried that they would go the obvious route and have Shawn Michaels come out on top. For a while, it seemed like it was going that way with HBK taking out Triple H and five others. Now, I have nothing against Michaels, but I like Rumble matches that are unpredictable and where it feels like anyone can win. And that’s exactly what happened when Edge made his return. I was hoping he’d be a surprise entrant, but I’ve been steering clear of news sites to avoid possible spoilers. So when Michaels got eliminated and went nuts, and then Edge came out on top as the winner, I was geeking out like crazy.

Oh, and to top it all off it was announced today that next year’s Wrestlemania is going to be at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta! Now let’s just hope I can score tickets when they go on sale before they sell out.